A few years ago I explained depression to my friend’s son as being so sad in your heart that’s its the only thing you can think about.
On Monday we went out as a family and had a lovely day at Stockwood Discovery Centre. On Tuesday Our Sidekick and I were at home just pottering around. I spent a chunk of the morning crocheting and then spent the afternoon in front of the computer.
I think without realising it I’d got more and more grumpy and sad but without necessarily knowing what I was grumpy and sad about.
But I think Chris and my Mum hit it on the head in a row about way. On Tuesday my Mum phoned me. We had a chat which included me crying which wasn’t so good. I was a little upset/angry that she’d said that stuff to me. It was only yesterday or maybe even today that the pieces fell into place and I “realised” where my mum was properly coming from and that it wasn’t on purpose to upset me (although she knew it would – cos she’s awesome as she knows me that well!).
Add the combo of Chris talking to me yesterday. I’d gone into work and it had been tense. Various bits and pieces had either been messed up or got muddled and so there were issues. At lunchtime I took a walk to the supermarket but things were still niggling me and I couldn’t shake whatever it was getting at me.
I headed back to work, kept my head down and got on with work. At the end of the day I walked from my work to The Fountain to collect the car. In the end I helped clear up so that we could all get home in time for Connect Group. It didn’t quite go to plan and I got snappy at the boys. We were having a movie night at Connect Group and ended up watching Meet The Fockers.
After Connect Group, Chris and I had a heart to heart. Similarly to the conversation with my mum it wasn’t easy. I got upset and had a cry some of my upset-ness might have even come out as anger but some of the stuff Chris had to say was out of concern and love. You could say he had to be “cruel to be kind”.
But why does that all matter…..because on Tuesday I had that feeling in my heart of being so sad and down that if I breathed in too far my heart was going to explode out of sadness.
I went to work today with a story in mind. It was the bit in The Hiding Place where Corrie and Betsie talk about “being thankful for the fleas” (you can read it here).
This evening I went to Scone Roses WI Craft Swap Night and then after finishing Square Eight, making dinner for Chris and watching part of the Brit Awards, Chris and I had another heart to heart. Actually you need to know about the crazy dancing, while dinner was cooking Chris was playing music and Our Sidekick had to guess the band and/or the song title. During one of the songs we broke into dancing but it was crazy dancing. At one point we were both trying to do the Beyonce Crazy In Love booty shake but with added actions so your arms were waving around like they were disjointed or made of rubber. We’d then stop long enough to catch our breathe only to burst into the dancing again.
Back to the heart to heart, so it carried on from yesterday but with more positives tones. At one point, I said to Chris that something he said mare me want to jump and start waving my arms around, so I did. I stood on our bed waving my arms and singing (it was supposed to be like an awe sound you might get accompanying an angel or something like that).
I then sat down and tried to go back to my crochet but I started laughing and no matter what I tried to do I couldn’t stop. My back was hurting and my sides were hurting but I couldn’t stop.
I’m of the believe that God’s Holy Spirit can come on you at any time and each person will react differently. When Jesus was baptised by John The Baptist, the Holy Sprit came on Jesus as a white dove. At Pentecost, everyone spoke different languages. So how does the Holy Spirit come on people now? Well I’ve seen people fall over in the Spirit – it looks a bit like fainting in a way, I’ve seen people cry hysterically or son quietly, I’ve seen people curl up on the floor and laugh hysterically or be so full of joy they don’t necessarily know what to do with themselves. Other people speak in tongues (it’s a different language) and then others get a gift of translation of those tongues.
When I got the hysterical giggles, I believe that it was the Holy Spirit. That it was from God. When I’d just about calmed down, I kept wanting to dance – it was mainly crazy fidgety dancing rather than anything graceful but I had too much energy and it was like I was hyper!
So yeah, have you ever experienced the Holy Spirit or seen someone else experience the Holy Spirit?